So, after 6 years, and 3 kids I have come to the realization that I HAVE NO FRIENDS!! Awwww, isn't that sad? But when I think back to who my friends were so long ago, the things I did with them and the things I didn't do with them, I'm starting to wonder if it is necessarily a BAD thing that we have lost touch.
Most of the time we would sit around and drink and tell stories. Hmm... yea, lots of fun when you are 22. But when you are almost 29, have a full time job and 3 kids under 6 years old, that seems like an obscene waste of time. (Although, in all honesty, still sounds kinda fun!)
Now, my best friend is my sister (ok, it's ALWAYS been my sister!) and the only other friends are "online friends"... I don't really know any of them in person, never went to dinner with them or went to their house. Our kids never played together, and we don't exchange birthday or holiday cards. But these are some of the best friends I have EVER had. I guess the way you meet online friends are usually doing something that you both enjoy and have in common (I play online video games - World of Warcraft in particular) so we immediately have something to talk about... And I know!!! I'm a geek!!! Please try to see past my geekiness to my very cool, suave, and incredibly trendy interior... :)
I also don't have friends at work - I have Co-Workers. I don't know what it is about co-workers, but I have always had a weird thing about "going out with the girls" at work... Sure I might go to lunch or something, but I never really do anything on a personal level. Maybe I am worried that there will be a conflict and make my work environment a living hell, or maybe I am afraid that if they REALLY got to know me, they wouldn't like me as much anymore.....or maybe I'm just a bitch who doesn't like anyone. Either way, in my mind, co-workers are in an automatic "No friend" zone.
I always thought my mom was too lonely and needed to get out and make new friends - then she would be happy... but I am starting to realize that I was part of the reason that she had no friends. All her friends were childless and didn't "get it" or they had kids too and were too damn busy to play anymore!!
I guess I am turning more and more into my mother every year. I used to think that would really suck ass... but, you know, the older I get, I am starting to understand what she gave up to raise her own children, and I have so much respect for her now.
I'm sure she is kicking herself, wishing she hadn't given up EVERYTHING and left a little time for herself though. I think she would be much happier if she had... maybe I can learn from her mistakes, but still be a great mommy like she has been to me.
Or maybe I just need a drink... or 5...
1 month ago