Honey, have you seen my....

UGH!! What is it about men that makes them incapable of finding shit?? "Honey, have you seen my shoes? My wallet? My cigarettes, my lighter, my sweatshirt, the remote, the bread, my lunch, my cell phone, or my keys?"

WHY DON'T YOU OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK FOR IT FOR A CHANGE!!!!! Omg, I am so tired of being asked where shit is. It is bad enough that my kids can't find anything, but that is to be expected... so I suck it up and find their shoes, socks, etc. Pat can NEVER find anything. But I don't think he ever actually LOOKS for anything either.

He stands in front of the fridge, not even opened it yet, and asked me if his lunch is in there... open it up and fucking look, jackass! Do I have x-ray glasses on, and can see through the fridge door from 2 flights up to check for your lunch??

Stands in the bathroom and asked me I have seen his keys... I am supposed to believe he is looking for his keys in the shitter and just "can't find them anywhere"??? Noooo, he is fixing his hair, and can't be BOTHERED to go up and check the BIG KEY BOWL where all the keys go EVERYDAY to see if his are indeed in there or not...

"Where is my wallet?" ..... Why the hell would I know where your wallet is? It is your wallet...

"Are we out of toilet paper?" Um... go check. You know where we keep it - in the room with the toilet in it...

"Where is the cold medicine?" Same place it always is, in the medicine cabinet... And if it is NOT in there, I will go ahead and tell ya - that means "Yes" we are OUT, so don't ask...

"What did you do with my cell phone? It's not on the coffee table anymore..." My answer is: You mean you left it where the 2 year old can reach it (AGAIN) and you want someone else to blame for your stupidity?

Geez, I had babies with this man...

Although one of the FUNNIEST things I've ever seen was my brother in law... he walked through the house, comepletely naked, stood next to his wife (with his junk right next to her head) and asked "Honey, have you seen my boxers?" She turns her head and BAM - face fulla hubby!

But I love him, and you know I will do what every woman in America does... help him find his stuff. Everyday. Over and over again. Even when he puts his wallet in the freezer (because he set it down to fill his cup with ice) or his watch on the toothbrush holder (didn't want to set it on the sink, it might have gotten wet), just grin and bear it... and wait for him to lose his undies!! WOO WOOO!!!