Well, sadly I have figured out that, yes, I am indeed a grown up now. Well, shit, when did that happen?? Every day I realize more and more that I am pushing thirty. I know that is NOT old, but it sure ain't YOUNG either!! And I guess the worst part is...that I haven't really done much in my 28 years on this planet.
I never traveled the world, never went on a cruise, I've never REALLY been to a beach, never seen New York, or San Francisco OR Hawaii! I never bungee jumped or skydived, I've never tried ice skating or even snow skiing. I never did go stay in the haunted hotel where the Shining was filmed with my sister and I've never been to Mardi Gras. I never got to go to the Murder Mystery role-playing hotel (which I have been talking about for years now) and I never went back to school. I never got that gym membership and I never made my kids Halloween costumes. I never learned how to use an i-pod or how to burn a DVD... I've never got a video camera (even though I think about it a lot) and I never signed up to be on "Deal or No Deal". I never took ballet or even saw a ballet program. Never been to a Broadway play, or even a really crappy community theatre one... I never opened my bookstore, or my restaurant, or my bar and grill. Never learned how to sew or even knit, and I've never been to a shooting range.
I think my brain just can't get around the fact that I am an adult, and I can do whatever I want. If I want to take my family and move to Oregon (or Miami, or Venezuela), I could, or go on a safari, or visit the pyramids!!
I CAN do whatever I want... so why don't I ever WANT to do anything?
My life is FULL of "I nevers" and I am starting to realize how sad that is.
1 month ago