Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My firsts...

Ok, so my sister and fellow blogger Needsleepy has invited everyone to create a blog of "firsts" in their live. Most of mine were too inappropriate, unethical or immoral to post on here, so I have narrowed it down to a few that are "ok" for public knowledge. They are still not that appropriate, but oh well.

Before you start reading these and judging me, please bear in mind that I was YOUNG AND STUPID. I have since matured and seen the error of my ways. :)


My first boyfriend was in 5th grade and his name was Micah. He was a big geek, just like I was. We held hands once, and he hugged me…that was it. Interesting side note, though - I went out on a date with him a few years later in high school, and I found out that he was the WORST KISSER EVER. Seriously. He also ended up being my “first” (and sadly, not my LAST) for ever being licked all over my face and chin during a kiss… EW!


First real kiss was with a boy named James. I was in 7th grade, and it was at my friend’s house. My “friend” was also James’ girlfriend… BAD Angie… This was also my first time ever being felt up – WOO!

Set a Park on Fire

Ok, this was COMPLETELY on accident. I was in seventh grade and we had starting using bunsen burners in science class. My lab partner (James - see above) had stole one, and we were messing with it on the way to his house after school. he lived across the street from English Park which has a huge ditch going through the center (I think it was a drainage ditch). Anyways, he kept lighting it and then sticking his hand in it, so I took it away from him and threw it in the ditch (yes it was still lit). Well, long story short, it was fall, the ditch was full of dry leaves, and... then the Fire Department showed up. We watched from his living room window as the put out the fire, and I was afraid they were going to find the bunsen burner and get my fingerprints off of it, and throw me in jail. My friends thought it was freakin' hilarious...


The first time I ever smoked was in 7th grade with my friend Diane. We went across the street from her house to a school playground and sat underneath the ‘Big Toy’ to smoke cigarettes. I have smoked ever since…

Bought Cigarettes

I bought cigarettes from “Johnny T’s” convenience shop at age 13. He was a sweet old Asian man who sold smokes to EVERYONE.

Smoked Pot

First time I ever smoked pot (age 13), I got invited to go “smoke a bowl”. I knew that they were talking about pot, but in my head I am picturing a “bowl” like a soup bowl. I thought, ‘There’s no WAY I could smoke all that!!’ But I still went, I got high, and then I got sick. But I was not a quitter, so I practiced until I was able to smoke and not puke… lol


My first job was at a Laundromat (same one as my sister!!). This job sucked ass, and I also still hate doing laundry. This was coincidentally, also my first time ever being fired from a job. Not only did I hate the job, apparently I sucked at it…


My first car was an ’84 Cavalier hatchback. What a piece of shit!! Some key things about my first car… first, it had a “Sparkomatic” radio. This radio only got 3 stations, and it would skip to the next one each time you hit a bump. Second, no A/C. (Although my father informed me that it DID have A/C – a “window unit”… ass…) and third, the windshield wipers worked pretty good, but ONLY when you turned your blinker on. And not just turn it on and let it flash for 10 minutes… like turn it on. Then off. On. Then off. On. Then off… yea. MAJOR pain in the ass. BUT - man that car could move! Fast little sucker…


My first concert was Lollapalooza ’96. I was 16. It was in Kansas City and my mom let me go with 3 guys and 2 girls. They bought my ticket, and paid for my hotel room (I roomed with the girls, by the way…). The concert was ALL DAY LONG, outside. They had “rain tents” sent up because it was so hot out, and one of them busted and made a HUGE mud puddle. So we spend the day high and covered in mud. Metallica was the headliner that night and they played so many encores that the show didn’t end until 1 in the morning. Best concert I had ever been to.


My first apartment SUCKED. You walked into the kitchen slash living room. The next room (no hallway, just a doorway) was my bedroom, with one bathroom off of the bedroom and a closet. That was IT. But it was only $300 a month!

First Marriage

My wedding was gorgeous, it just with the wrong guy. My (now ex-) mother in law came to the bride’s room 5 minutes before the ceremony to tell me I ‘still had time to back out’ (and that is a direct quote). I think I may have married him to spite her. Sadly, she was right, and I should have run out the back door.

Found out I was pregnant

The first time I found out I was pregnant was a month after my first marriage. I had stopped my birth control because my doctor had told me since I had been on them SO long, he thought it would probably take about a year to get pregnant. Um… yea. He was wrong. I was getting ready to go out and get drunk with some friends, and I was talking to one of them on the phone. She was complaining about being on her period, blah blah blah, when I realized I was NOT on mine… Went out, bought a pregnancy test, went home and peed on it. When those 2 little lines showed up, I just stared at it for 15 minutes, wondering ‘what in the hell am I gonna do now?’ Needless to say I did NOT go out that night and within a year I had my first daughter.

My First (and only) Divorce

My first marriage lasted 2 ½ years, and that was with about a year of fighting, marriage counseling, and more fighting. My dad called me a year after my divorce to tell me he had just made the last payment on my wedding… ouch…

Peed My Pants in Public

Hmmm… this was hard to decide. I had once peed my pants at a swimming field trip at school, but I don’t think anyone really noticed. So I’m going with the next time that I remember and that was my 23rd birthday. I was at a bar with my sister and some friends, and I drank WAY too much (go figure…). But, it wasn’t really my fault. Everyone in the bar was buying me drink after drink (and who am I to turn down a red bull and vodka?? Those suckers are like $6 a pop!) and shot after shot.

So, eventually I went to the bathroom to puke. And I just kept puking and puking and puking. Puked so much (and had drunk so much) that each convulsion caused me to pee just a little bit. By the time I was done puking, I had peed A LOT. I had my sister grab my long coat and bring it to me in the bathroom, so I could cover up and get the fuck outta there before someone saw. I have since gotten MUCH better at drinking, and actually consider myself to be somewhat of an authority on the subject.

Skinny Dip

The first time I remember skinny dipping was at a lake party with my sister. The most memorable part of that experience was my brother in law. Everyone had stripped down, and headed to the lake, and I was one of the stragglers at the end. I turned to see my brother in law coming out of his tent, wearing a fishing hat, flippers, and an inner tube. Now, what makes this funny is that he had a cigarette in one hand an a beer in the other, but the inner tube had no problem staying up where it was supposed to… :)

Stole a Car

I "borrowed" my sister's car when I was 15. I had a learner's permit. I drove around town, picked up several friends, and then went to the video store (with her video card) to rent movies. At the corner of my street, I noticed what I THOUGHT was dust floating around. I see my neighbor running towards us with a hose, screaming for us to get out of the car. So we all jumped out (I did go back for my cigarettes...), and watched him spray the hood of the car with his garden hose until the "dust" (aka SMOKE) had stopped billowing and the fire stopped dripping underneath it. We then decided to push it around the corner to the house, which was a total pain in the ass because the power steering fluid was GONE and the tires were half melted.

So then I went inside and told my older brother that I had set my sister's car on fire. He in turn called my sister (who thought my brother was completely full of shit) and then called my dad (who laughed his ass off...). Then my brother, his friends, my friends and I all sat around watching our newly rented movies until my sister came home. When she found out he hadn't been lying she was PISSED. I don't know why, it was a piece of shit car anyways, and I really did her a favor... she DID get another car outta the deal...

So that is a few of my firsts! Hope you found it enjoyable, and please feel free to post some of your OWN firsts!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

So I got tagged....

Well, dammit I got tagged! lol

So, I got tagged by Brooke (although I’m not entirely sure who she is, but her blog made me laugh, so it’s all good!) so I now have to list eight random things about myself. Hmmmm…. Let’s think….

1. I have an addictive personality.

When I find something I like, I go overboard. This goes for…. Well, pretty much everything. I like to smoke (I smoke a lot), I enjoy drinking and I do it well (WHEN I drink, I drink a lot), I enjoy sex (I constantly harass my “baby’s daddy” to put out), I like to play WoW (I would play this for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if I could), I like to read (usually when I start a book, I have to read the whole thing before I put it down…so I read it when I eat, on my breaks at work, while the girls play in the tub, in the crapper and while I feed my son.). See a pattern?

2. And about WoW (aka World of Warcraft). I love this freakin’ game.

I am the biggest geek that ever walked the planet. Not only do I have 13 characters ranging across 3 servers, but on my main server, I actually started my own guild. My sister and brother are my ‘second in command’, and the guild has over 120 members… I know… GEEK!

3. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to watch infomercials.

I like to BUY stuff off of infomercials. I also love to shop online – anything and everything, you can get it online! See my “Hi my name is Angie and I’m an addict” post for more details. lol

4. I am not religious.

I hate organized religion, probably from having it shoved down my throat as a child. I am more spiritual, and believe in the power within yourself.

Which brings us to number five… I’m an ordained minister…

How about that, eh? Yep. I originally became an ordained minister because in the state of KS you have to be in order to read Tarot cards or do fortune telling in a public setting (i.e. Renaissance Festival, Spiritual Awareness Fair, etc.). I did this 4 years ago and have officiated two weddings. Oh, and I did this online… see number 3.

6. I read Tarot Cards.

I have for years, and I have gotten progressively better at this. Cards are amazing accurate if you know how to read them, and always a good party trick to break the ice.

7. I never shut the bathroom door when I go to the bathroom at home.

This is for a couple of reasons… one, because of my kids. I am usually home alone with all 3 of them, and for some reason, the second I shut that door that is the minute and a half that my kids want to use to break something in my house or do something strange to their baby brother… So I leave the door open so I can keep my eyes on them. Also, they LOVE to come in the bathroom with me and if I shut the door then opening the fucking thing anyways and come on in. I haven’t gone to the bathroom by myself for what seems like years…

8. For the most part, I don’t eat things that come out of the ground.

I will eat a salad IF (and only IF) it has no tomatoes and lots of ham, turkey, bacon, cheese, eggs, and dressing on it. I order my sandwiches, cheeseburgers, tacos, everything PLAIN. No thanks on steamed veggies, raw veggie trays, any of that crap…

Ok, so that’s my eight. I hope you found it interesting and enlightening! Let’s see, who to tag next… people I would like to know more about!!

Ok, so the tag rules are as follows: Each player starts with eight random fact/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag eight people and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged and to read your blog.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Girls Don't Poop

There are a few misconceptions that men (in general) have about women out there that I feel an obligation to clear up. It seems as if little boys around the world are either NOT getting this information from their mommies, sisters, etc., OR they have always been just "man enough" to ignore the completely obvious.

When couples first start dating, everything is perfect! A lot of men and women out there dating have never lived with a member of the opposite sex before, and there are just some things that men tend to believe about women regardless of whether or not it LOGICALLY makes any sense... And I know that part of the problem is the women's fault as we can (on occasion) lead you to believe some things to be true, but I have never understood why men actually believe certain myths.

For instance...

MYTH - Girls don't poop. Well sorry fellas, I know it is very unladylike, a little icky and a whole lot gross to imagine your woman on the shitter for 30 minutes reading a magazine, BUT IT HAPPENS. Usually every day.

MYTH - Girls don't burp or fart. Um... yea that one is total horseshit. I know that men might believe this one because women are careful to not do this around YOU. At first... :) But I can put my man to shame with some of my burps, although I do have to admit my farts are no where near the caliber of his. But we still DO fart.

MYTH - Girls faces are magically colored to enhance our beauty from the moment we wake up. Sorry, I'm gonna nip this one in the bud too... You wanna know the REAL reason women tend to not spend the night with you (or you at their house) during that first month or so? It's not our outstanding morals or the need to save "it" for marriage or until we are really really really in love with you... it's because we don't want you to see us first thing in the morning. It's not pretty and no amount of "wishing it away" is going to change that... It takes a lot of time and a lot of effort to look the way we do.

MYTH - Girls' legs, underarms, and private areas are genetically dispositioned to not grow any hair. And if any hair does grow, it will naturally keep itself neat and tidy and visually appealing. Ok men are just fucking morons to believe this. But none the less, after two days of romping around in the sheets, only surfacing to grab the phone to order delivery or take a quick potty break, men are actually SHOCKED when they run their hand up your leg and feel the prickly's. They think "it wasn't like that yesterday!!!" Well, no, and I shaved yesterday, dumbass. Didn't shave today, I've been too busy boinking you.

MYTH - Women naturally smell like roses, vanilla, and other yummy smells. We wear perfume dummy. FOR YOU usually. So yea, we are not going to smell like that first thing in the morning... sorry...

MYTH - Women don't perspire. Nope, we get all hot and sweaty just like you. If it is hot out and you think it's funny to tickle us under the arms, be prepared that your hand might get a little MOIST. Would you stick your hand in YOUR armpit in 110 degree heat? Nope, didn't think so.

MYTH - Women LOVED to be tickled. I fucking hate to be tickled, and I would bet $1 that your woman hates it too.

MYTH - Women want their man to be in charge. I'm pretty sure that MOST men should know this by now, but women can make decisions on their own AND they actually do have opinions. We don't need you to "take care of" everything. You want to be in charge of the trash, fine, but do not expect us to check with you on any given decision that needs to be made every single time.

MYTH - Women have no idea what they want to eat. We know, and we are perfectly capable of ordering it ourselves. Thanks.

MYTH - Car? What's a car? Women are not stupid, so please stop assuming that we know nothing about cars. We know what it means to get the oil changed and we know that it should not cost us $200, so stop trying to rip us off at auto shops. Also, we can and do drive ourselves around town, so we can in fact pick out the kind of car we want to buy without our boyfriend's or daddy's advice or approval - so stop "suggesting" I call him.

MYTH - Women love to take care of the house (laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, etc.) and would prefer if you just sit on your ass watching the game. Um, no. A little help would nice, asshole. And it wouldn't kill you to cook a meal.

MYTH - All women are great cooks. NOT TRUE! I know lots of gals that can order a pizza like nobodies business, but couldn't cook spaghetti to save their lives. Do yourself a favor and learn to cook. Even if your woman CAN cook, that doesn't mean she WANTS to cook 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year.

MYTH - Women don't know how to grill. Bullshit.

Well, I know there are more than that, but that is all my tiny little woman brain can think of right now. Feel free to add more in comments if you can think of any!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Life Lessons From 1980's Movies

So, as most know, my sister and I consider ourselves to be "movie buffs". Movie have played a big role in our lives, so we have colaborated and came up with this listing of the lessons we have learned through watching movies from the 80's. These lessons have shaped us into the wonderful people we are today.

If you cannot guess what movies these came from (at least half of them) then it's one of three things:

A. You are toooooo young to remember any of these!
B. You are toooooo old to remember any of these!
C. You had a deprived childhood. :)

Shall we begin?

1. Never give your panties to a nerd.
2. Always pay your newspaper bill.
3. If you are a geeky girl, the hottest guy in school IS secretly pining for you.
4. Men are always sexier while wearing a loin cloth.
5. Detention can be fun!
6. Goonies never say die.
7. Skipping school is perfectly acceptable ONLY if you go on a national dancing show. And win.
8. If your grandparents disappear, do NOT worry. They are with nice friendly aliens. Not Aging.
9. Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
10. If you are dying from hypothermia, you should slice open a large animal (a light saber is recommended for this task) and climb inside to stay warm until help arrives.
11. Do not let your pets eat after midnight.
12. There is more than one unicorn left in the world, they are just all in the ocean.
13. The correct term for a rifle is “boomstick”.
14. This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for shooting, this is for fun.
15. Napalm smells better in the morning.
16. If someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES.
17. Apes don’t read philosophy.
18. Only a virgin will be able to read the spell.
19. Wolfman DOES have nards.
20. If your sister goes missing, check inside the TV first.
21. You CAN buy love – for $1000.00.
22. Geeks are much better friends than popular people.
23. If you are 17 and REALLY need a job, just fake your resume – they never actually check anything on there anyways.
24. If you are babysitting and end up in a bar full of black people, if you sing them the blues they will not harm you.
25. If you are intelligent, but an under-achiever; alienated from his parents; has few friends and plays tic-tac-toe on your computer you are a classic case for recruitment by the Soviets.
26. Do NOT cross the streams.
27. Chocolate coating makes it go down easier.
28. If you get invited to go to a “small town in Nebraska” but no one knows what a VCR is… you are ACTUALLY in the Soviet Union.
29. Dancing is a very effective way to get an overprotective preacher to loosen up.
30. If you see some doody floating in the pool, take a bite, it just might be a Baby Ruth.
31. Comic Books are an EXCELLENT resource for researching vampires and how to kill them.
32. If you find your friend in a big cocoon of cotton candy, RUN! Killer Clowns are on the loose!
33. If you want to get taller in order to ride a roller coaster, find a Zoltar machine, unplug it, and make a wish.
34. Two men enter, one man leaves.....THAT IS THE LAW
35. You shouldn’t try passing off recovered alien technology as your high school science project.
36. If you are a gamer BEWARE of getting the high score on an arcade game, if you do you will be recruited to fight in an intergalactic war!
37. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
38. If you are in space be careful of STD's, especially Space Herpes!
39. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
40. If you are the chosen one, reaching into lava to retrieve a magical weapon to destroy evil will not harm you.
41. If you cut off the horn of a Unicorn, you will plunge the world into eternal darkness
42. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
43. When in doubt, nuke the site from orbit!!
44. If you are a man you're chances of getting laid greatly increase if you can hammer a 6 inch spike through a board with your penis.
45. If you are a geeky guy in high school who has trouble getting girls so you decide to make one, don’t forget to wear a bra on your head.
46. In order to take off any miles you may put on your father’s car, just drive home backwards.
47. If you want to get the “cool dream guy”, just wear skin tight black leather, pierce your ears and learn to smoke.
48. Pool sticks, chairs, and bottles are excellent choices for weapons in a bar fight, as they shatter on impact and can incapacitate someone in one whack.
49. When you “mess with the bull, you get the horns”.
50. And, finally, if you see a woman in a diner having a spontaneous orgasm in the middle of her meal, you should probably order “whatever she’s having”.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

So I'm a BIG freakin' Sissy

So, as I was trying to think of ideas for my blog (as I OBVIOUSLY need some new ones, my last couple of posts having been lacking of their original luster), it was suggested to me to write about the things in my life that I was afraid of, but have overcome. That I could call the blog "No Fear".
Uh, huh...

What a fucking joke. Do you see what the title of this is?? Yep. That's right. BIG SISSY. Anyone who read my Legendary Spider Adventure should now by now, I do not "Face my Fears" well. I make the cowardly lion look like the freakin' terminator.

If there are things that I am afraid of, I don't DO THOSE THINGS. End of story. Isn't that sad? There are a lot of things that was scared of, but went ahead and TRIED - and it scared the shit out of me, so I never did it again... Apparently with me, there are no "second chances".

For example, I was so scared of the diving board when I was younger. At a class field trip we went to an olympic sized swimming pool with several diving boards, including a high dive. All of my classmates were SO excited about it and were pushing and shoving to be the first ones in line. EXCEPT ME. I hung in the back, letting everyone cut in line. I had abosolutely NO desire to climb 2 stories up, walk out on a 2" thick piece of plastic and purposely hurl myself towards a few (ok 10) feet of water. I was sure I would hurt myself, get water up my nose, break something or die.

Now, as I stood in the back of the line, other kids starting teasing me and pushing me toward the ladder... peer pressure is a bitch.

After all the pushing and laughing and giggling, I was finally forced onto the ladder of doom. Up and up and up I climbed, shaking with fear, and listening to the other kids tell me to hurry so they could have another turn.

I walked out onto the diving board. It was blue, wet, and scratchy on the bottoms of my feet. I bravely walked out to the end. Looked down. OMG. There is no way I can do this. "JUST JUMP!" I thought to myself. So I plugged my nose (told you I was a geek), ran, and jumped! All I remember is falling and falling and falling.... and peeing my pants... yes. That's right. I peed my pants. Well, swimsuit. I don't think anyone really saw that part, because I was never made fun of about it (or maybe they were just being nice... who the fuck am I kidding, kids aren't nice!). But that humilation has stuck with me for 20 years. I HATE the diving board. I don't go on the diving board. I just don't.

Same with rollar coasters. When I was VERY little, my uncle (I think it was, can't remember I was VERY little...) was running the little kiddie "alligator rollar coaster" at a carnival (and don't give me shit about carnie relatives!). Anyone remember that? The track was like 2' to 4 feet off the ground and went in a big oval. They put me, my sister, my brother and a slew of other little kids on it and I was SO excited. Until it STARTED. Oh, I fucking lost it. I screamed and flailed and damn near tried to jump out. I fucking hated it and I wanted OFF THAT SECOND. They had to stop the ride so I could get off. I'm sure all the other little kids were shooting me dirty looks, and I could still very well be on someone's "People to Kill" list for fucking up the awesome rollar coaster ride for everyone.

I have not ridden a rollar coaster since. Or any other ride at a carnival - I guess in my mind they are ALL guilty by association.

Other things I hate, because they scared the ever-loving shit out of me, and I have NO explanation why. I don't know why, I just know I'm scared.

Like.... I hate spiders. I don't kill them. I scream and get someone else to kill them. The ONLY ONLY ONLY exception is when I am in a position that one of my kids might get bit by it or something. Then and only then can I reach out with that magazine, flyswatter, or shoe and smash the freakin' thing. And NEVER IN MY LIFE would I ever consider killing a spider with my bare hands. You would have to be out of your fucking mind to even SUGGEST that to me.

I hate to drive in cities that I don't know. I will drive all the highways you can throw at me, but once we hit the city - "here it's your turn". No shit. That's one reason I don't travel alone! I will fly in and take a cab everywhere. I am willing to pay money for the convienence ofsomeone else taking me where ever I wish to go, as well as the luxury of not getting lost in the wrong part of town and ending up chopped into little pieces and turned into a piece of artwork at Charlie Manson's cousin's house. I am scared that I will get lost - because I HAVE. I don't like to be lost. I'm a control freak, and when you are lost in a strange city, all control goes out the window.

I am also afraid of confrontation. Which is weird because as a older teenager, I was MS. Confrontation. But as I get older and older, I get meeker and meeker. I don't want to stir the pot. I don't want to rock the boat. I will send my food back at a restaraunt, but I try and be as nice as I can about it most of the time, for fear that they will totally fuck up my food (I saw the movie Waiting...).

I am afraid of glass doors covered with blinds or curtains at nighttime. No kidding, I really am. I have this irrational fear that "someone is out there". I cannot shake it. I cannot bring myself to pull the curtains back at night. Omg, I just can't. I even picture what my attacker would look like, and have had nightmares about that crazy son of a bitch.

So, anyways, I guess that about sums up how well I have "overcome" my fears in life... what are you afraid of???? :)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Cheater Cheater Pumkin Eater

My 5 year old is a cheater.

Yep, you heard me. She is 5 and she just learned how to cheat on her reading list so she can get a free personal pan pizza and attend the "book reading party" at school.

Last night, I came home from work, and I saw that Josie had gotten down her reading list (she is supposed to read 10 books in November) off the fridge. When I left that morning, it had 3 books on it. She had read a book with Pat and he let her write the name of the book on one of the lines ALL BY HERSELF! Yea for Josie!

BUT - about 20 minutes later I caught her sitting at the table with a pile of books. She was carefully copying the titles of the books onto her reading list sheet. She was on book 9 when I found her. She looked at me and said "Hey mommy, look! I'm almost done with my book it paper!"

Awww... now I know it was cute, and she was SO proud of herself. But, I wasn't sure how to handle the situation. I told her that we could only put a book on there if we ACTUALLY READ IT first. And from now on, let mommy help her fill it out.

Then I looked at the page. There was no way in hell the teacher was ever going to be able to read that... so I went back and wrote the titles AGAIN just below what she had written.... so techincally I guess I helped her cheat...

But, then I decided that she could not turn it in until we read all those books. So I get to go home tonight and read 6 books, just so I don't feel like a shitty mom and letting my kid lie so she could get pizza...

Anyways, that was the most eventful thing of my day.

BUT THE FUNNIEST THING was that Patrick had been home all day...with the kids... Now, what does Pat like to do when he is home? Well, play WoW of course!!

So, he took off Veteran's Day because it was offered at work. He was sooo excited thinking he would just play all day, because Josie would be home and could help entertain Mia, and I would be at work, so I would be out of his face.

Well, long story short, the WoW server was offline. ALLLLLLLL DAY. Yep! And in fact, it was STILL out at 10 pm when I went to bed!

He was pissed, and I laughed.

Gosh I sure love him. :)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

RANT - If you get offended easily, don't read this.

I can’t bring myself to read the paper anymore. There are several things that bother me about the news… first, I am tired of hearing about Prop 8.

Prop 8 (for those who don’t know) is the proposition that was voted on in California on the 4th. It reverses the “same sex marriage” thing that was passed by their Supreme Court a few months ago. So now, since the 4th, same sex marriages are no longer legal in CA. What I don’t understand is why so many people feel it is their place to tell others how to live their lives.

Why should you even CARE if 2 women or 2 men want to get married? Who gives a shit? They are not hurting anyone! I say if you are not gay, they you should not get to vote on this. All the jerk offs that are against it are saying that it destroys the “sanctity” of marriage. Oh, what the fuck ever. You know, heterosexual couples are more likely to divorce, split up, abuse their spouses, commit adultery, etc. WE are the one destroying the “sanctity” of marriage.

Marriage isn’t sacred and it hasn’t been for a long fucking time. Same sex couples who want to declare to their friends and families (and their God) their undying and unwavering love for each other, make that commitment, and choose to live that lifestyle should be commended, not condemned. They are humans and have the same feelings and emotions as everyone else, and they deserve the same opportunities. If you are against same sex marriages, then don’t YOU marry someone of the same sex…

Second is abortion. Are we all still arguing about this?? Are you serious?

Ok, I’m pro-choice. I personally, would not have an abortion unless (strenuously) recommended by my doctor, but I would never deny someone else the right to decide what to do with their own body. The opposers want to outlaw ALL abortions…

Let’s say you have a 13 year old daughter. She gets raped and ends up pregnant. At her age, it is a dangerous pregnancy anyways, without the addition of the emotional trauma that was endured to end up pregnant. Say the person who raped her had AIDS. So now, she is 13, pregnant with a stranger’s baby (a stranger that had robbed her of her innocence, her self esteem, her feeling of safety and security, and probably damaged her perception of men for the rest of her life), infected with a terminal disease, and has so much emotion and physical damage that it will be a danger for her to continue her pregnancy. Not to mention the fact that if she did have this child (and lived through it), it would be a constant reminder of the traumatic experience, every day for the rest of her life. The child never knowing his/her father, eventually finding out that their “daddy” was a rapist. "Therapy for one child" coming right up…

Now this is an extreme case, but would you seriously say, “Nope, you go ahead and have that baby!” to that young girl? NO abortion means just that - NONE. So she would be forced to continue the pregnancy, (which might kill her) or she can find a friend to push her down the stairs and punch her in the stomach to try and force a miscarriage. If that doesn’t work, wire hanger abortion in an alley somewhere (which will ALSO probably kill her).

Again, an example of people trying to tell other people what to do with their lives… I am so fucking tired of a percent of the population thinking THEY know what is best for EVERYONE. What is right for one person, may NOT be right for you, and vice versa. Everyone is different, has their own thoughts and feelings, and is capable of making their own decisions. Shut the hell up and mind your own business. If you are against abortion, then don’t YOU get one.

Are these REALLY the types of issues we should be spending our time and energy on? Whether or not that girl can marry another girl? WTF? These are two examples of the absolute NEED for separation of church and state. These are moral issues that each individual must address on their own and make their own decisions about what they want to do (or not do) in their lives. “The bible says it’s wrong!” Who gives a shit? Guess what, not everyone believes the same religion that you do, so come up with a different argument that can be applied across the table…

How about we vote on strategies to address the energy crisis, or maybe pass some new legislation to put a stop to child abuse, or address (the lack of) education for our children, or even new ideas for medical or social security? How about we all sit down and brainstorm about how we can fix the REAL problems of this country instead of spending our energy on this bullshit. That’s all people REALLY have an opinion on – no one wants to talk about real problems, because that makes them more real… Ignore it, maybe it will go away…

For instance, every day I read about children being hurt or killed by their parents. Why are we not working on THAT problem? Kids being thrown off of bridges, given bathes in scalding hot water so that their skin melts off, a baby being put in the microwave, father drowning his 4 kids in a bathtub, children being beaten, broken and murdered…

SIX child abuse homicides this year SO FAR in Wichita and we are arguing and voting about whether or not we should be allowed to have smoking sections in restaurants… WHO GIVES A SHIT?? ADDRESS A REAL PROBLEM!!!! Sorry, if you want to tell children that is it more important that we have smoke free eating establishments than it is to make sure that their parents do not starve, beat, and murder them, then you are a poor excuse for a human being.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Friday, November 7, 2008

Baby steps to 5 o'clock...

OMG is it just me, or does the last hour on a Friday seem to go on FOR-EVER?

I have been sitting here all afternoon, diligently working, taking my appropriate smoke breaks, and occasionally getting up for more water. I was thinking, "You know, it has got to be getting close to time to start wrapping things up. I better finish this and start closing down my computer..."

THEN... I looked up at the clock. 3:45? Are you fucking kidding me? I still have another hour and 15 before I can go home! This is bullshit. I think that Friday's should be half-days. Go in or stay late an extra hour the other 4 days, then go home at noon on Friday. I'd be first in line if they ever offered that around here!!

Well, maybe I'm still messed up from the time change. I mean, REALLY is should be a quarter til 5 right?

And now I have lost all motivation to actually DO any work.

BUT - I am glad today is Friday! Holy poo I need a day off.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Hi, my name is Angie, and I'm an addict

So, for those of you that KNOW me, you may have realized over the years that I have a serious problem. This problem has gotten increasing worse over the past couple of years...

My problem is - I buy a lot of shit off of TV. No kidding. I really do. I have apparently purchased enough items to merit being sent an "As Seen On TV" catalog! And, by the way, I love the catalog, I want to buy so much shit out of it...

I know some of you may be a little skeptical as to the extend of my addiction, so to prove my point I have supplied a list of some of the products I have bought over the years, one of them as early as last week. :) Please let me know if you know of any support groups.

Teeth Whitener. This did not really work, but I did get a free robe with purchase.

Chocolate Maker. I have used this about half a dozen times - EVER. But it does work and it is pretty fun. :)

Ab Roller. I don't know if this worked, as I have never used it.

Yoga Booty Ballet DVD set. This is a workout DVD that combines yoga, ballet and dance. It was actually kind of hard and I quit using it after about a week.

Debt Cures book. This is an awesome book. It had a lot of good information, and I feel was a good purchase.

K-Styler. This is a hair straightener. I love it and use it everyday. Another good purchase.

Hot Wax Kit. This fucking thing didn’t work for shit. The “hot” part worked (omg!) but when I ripped off the little strip I was still as bushy as I was before. I didn’t have the balls to keep trying.

Hand Blender. I used this for about a month. Don’t even know where it is now…

Diet Pills. These didn’t work either. Go figure.

Zerosmoke. This was a magnet that you put on your ear to help you quit smoking. Apparently it is supposed to simulate acupuncture and block the “I want a cigarette” signals to the brain. Didn’t work.

Space Bags. These things are awesome, but too expensive. Luckily you can buy them at Wal-Mart now.

Ped Egg. This little gadget is supposed to help remove calluses and dead dry skin from your feet. Might as well of used a metal cheese grater, that’s what it looks AND feels like. But I have to admit, the dead skin WAS gone…

Mineral Make-up. This was crap. Big Josie kind of talked me into this one… I’m back to using store bought stuff.

Sonic Scrubbers. These are electronic toothbrushes that you use to clean unsightly bathtub tiles and grout. They work, but are louder than shit and take FOREVER to clean a whole tub.

Core Rhythms. This is a workout DVD that is supposed to incorporate Latin Dance into an aerobic exercise. I haven’t gotten it yet, so we’ll see… :)

Hopefully the Core Rhythms one will help me tone up. I have been losing some weight, but I'm stil flabby. :(

Oh by the way, today's weight 164 1/2 lbs! (weight loss of 12 1/2 pounds in 2 weeks!)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Big Girl Beds

Oh, lordy lordy lordy. We got a couple big girls at my house now!

So, Saturday we went and bought Josie a twin bed. Her old toddler bed got passed down to Mia, and the crib is now Blakes. Out of the 3 of them, Blake is liking this arrangement the most, then Josie, and Mia fucking hates it.

Blake is enjoying having an ACTUAL real life bed to sleep in. He had outgrown his basinet a while ago, and his sleeping habits were very much like his father's (sleep all morning, stay up until 2 or 3 am). NOW he is in a nice big roomy crib! He went to sleep about 11:30 pm last night and didn't wake up until 4 am for a bottle, then right back to sleep. Ahhhh....

Josie is very excited, but keeps getting out of her bed to tell me she is scared or "something" is wrong in her room. Then she told Mia that if the monster's come after her, she can get in her bed... wtf? Why would she say that? Now Mia was all "Munter??" with big open eyes and hands over her mouth... shit. The first night Josie slept in her bed, about midnight Pat and I heard a very loud THUMP! We looked at each other and he took off running upstairs to check on the girls. Josie had fallen out of her bed. She was standing on the side all dazed with a "what the fuck happened?" look on her face. Pat helped her get back in and off to sleepyland she went again...

The funniest thing was the next morning I asked her how she liked her new bed - "Fantastic!" was her answer... I guess she didn't remember the loooong drop. :)

And then there is Mia. Mia hates it and keeps wanting to get back in the "baby bed". The first night she kept getting out of bed and unplugging the night lights, and then SCREAMING because it got dark. I guess I could have shrugged it off, except she did it FOUR damn times! What the hell? Why?? Then we finally let her fall asleep in the crib and moved her over after she fell asleep.

Mia has consistently gotten out of bed every night now at least 68 times for various reasons. I half want to just say fuck it, and put her in the crib. But I have decided that it will just take some time for her to get used to it, and I need to stick to my guns.

And, then this morning... I took a shower, got out, dried off, and headed downstairs to grab some clothes. I get the bottom of the first stairs when I hear "BERRRRRNN" very loud and scared the shit out of me... it was MIA! Yep! Sitting in the dark in the living room, turning on the TV at 6:30 in the morning. Again I start rethinking the whole "big girl bed" thing...

But in the end, I guess I am proud of her for doing this. She is getting a little better each night, and last night she actually DID fall asleep IN her bed! WOO HOO! So, we will see what the week will hold.

Wish me luck, and about 8:30 pm tonight, whisper "Mia, you are tired and want to go to sleep" about 15 times and maybe it will have a "do you believe in fairies" type of effect! Help a sista out, will ya???