Thursday, February 26, 2009


Ok, I know it has been a while since I put up a new blog, and although this TECHNICALLY counts as a new blog, it's really not...

This is just an apology and begging you all not to forget about me.

My stupid ol' REAL LIFE is constantly getting in the way of my virtual one!!! I am super stressed at work, things are crazy at home, kids have been sick, have a birthday party to host on Saturday, and blah blah blah... geez, I'm even boring the shit out of myself with this post.

Ok, I'll try to get on here tonight (yea right, Angie... WTF EVER!) or tomorrow and play a little catch up with blogspot life.


Monday, February 16, 2009

"S" is for...SUPER MOM!

Sooooo, J.J. in L.A. was playing the Alphabet Game on her blog last week, and asked for volunteers to play along. Well, you know me, I am always up for some game-playing, so I said "Sure! Why not?"
She assigned me the letter "S". I am supposed to list 10 things that start with "S" that I like...About 5 minutes after getting my assignment, I decided that JJ must REALLY like me, as she has given me the easiest freakin' letter in the alphabet. Within 5 minutes I had the required 10 and still had "S"s popping to mind...
SO - being the overachiever that I am, I have decided not to share TEN things with you, but I'm going to really challenge myself, and double it... that's right folks! TWENTY big ones, comin' atcha! Oh, and I tried to limit the food references... they seemed like a cop out considering half the foods on the planet start with S. I mean, there is seafood, swiss cake rolls, sugar cookies, sour cream and chive dip, Skittles, Sweet and Sour Chicken, Spaghetti, Spaghetti O's and meatballs, etc., etc.
So, without further adieu, here we gooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....

1. Sleep

I love to sleep. I don’t GET to sleep much, but there is nothing better than going to bed and not waking up until YOU DECIDE to wake up!!! I usually get up because of an alarm, a baby crying, TV blaring, kids fighting or a large crash… all of which immediately put me in a shitty mood for the day. I think if I was allowed to, I could sleep for an entire 24 hour period without even having to wake up for a pee break… ahhhhh sleep, how I miss you, you elusive little…

2. Sex, Sex, and More Sex

Well, DUH. OF COURSE this would be on my list – I have 3 freakin’ kids!!! It is a little obvious that this would be a favorite past time… But again, just because I LIKE to, doesn’t mean I GET to. I have an exceptionally high sex drive, which few men have ever been able to keep up with. I frequently feel like the “the man” in the relationship, constantly badgering my partner for a little “roll in da hay”. At the beginning of our relationship, Pat could “keep up”. Then, after a year or two, it plummeted to a “Stock Market-like” low. But over the past few months, probably due to closing down the baby making factory, I am (FOR THE FIRST TIME) having a difficult time keeping up with HIM!!! Omg, it must be payback for making me giving birth over and over again… I would have had them all sooner if I knew THIS would happen! WHOOOO! Now the only problem is finding time away from kiddos so we can “do it”… I think I need a tree house… or a garage…

3. Sin City

Oh, Sin City, how I miss you. I know a lot of people say that Vegas is too loud, too gaudy, too smoky, etc. Well those are all the things that I LOVE about it!! I would go there at least once a year if I could… I think one of the biggest attractions for me (besides gambling /slaps hand) is the fact that there is ALWAYS something new to go check out. And the fact that you can walk down the street, in and out of casino after casino, while holding a foot tall margarita and chain smoking as you check out “all the new stuff” makes Sin City my #1 vacation spots in the continental US.

4. Slow dancing

Awwww, slow dances… I love holding someone close, swaying back and forth to the music, laying your head on the man’s shoulder, breathing in his cologne… Ahhh. Now, as much as I love this, Pat and I have only slow danced MAYBE 3 times. Ever. Now, it’s not because he refuses to dance with me or just plain hates it or anything like that – it’s because he is SERIOUSLY 13 ½ INCHES TALLER THAN ME. Yea, really. Over a foot taller, which makes slow dancing a little awkward… Strangely enough, it doesn’t make the above number 2 difficult at all… I guess we will just have to stick to that instead of slow dancing… sigh, I guess I’ll just take one for the team… :)

5. Sundays

Oh, I love me some Sunday afternoons. Usually Saturday is the day that I clean house, start laundry, do grocery shopping, all that other bullshit. Saturdays are pretty much a work day, so they pretty much just suck. BUT Sundays… that is my “F” off day. I sit around on my ass watching TV, talk on the phone, playing a video game or going out with the family. And now, you can even buy booze on Sundays, which makes it even better. LoL. Best day of the week, in my opinion.

6. Spa days

Omg, a day at the spa… where else can you go and walk around in a robe, get a facial, a full body massage, manicure, pedicure, your hair washed, cut and styled AND they serve you lunch?? I think they have said that heaven is like that, but it’s a little harder to get in to…

7. Slippers

Wow, I love slippers. I wear them ALL the time!! Well, not to work, but… I am one of those tacky people that go to the grocery store, gas station, the bank, where ever, in my slippers. I make sure to buy the kind that has rubber soles so they don’t get messed up on my trip around town… I DO leave the robe and hair curlers at home, as I do not want to be THAT tacky!! But I’m still young, so that might change in the next few decades… I’ll keep ya posted…

8. Subway Sandwiches

For those that have no idea what Subway is (is there anyone still living under a rock or in the Soviet Union, maybe?), Subway is the best damn sandwich shop EVER. I always “liked” it, but during my pregnancies I really began to appreciate it to its full extent. I ate this SO often, that the employees all knew what I wanted as soon as I walked in. Not only that, but they even knew my due date, the sex of the baby and any names I had picked out…

My favorite sandwich, you might ask? “Foot long on white, ham and cheese (American cheese, please), double meat, double cheese, with EXTRA mayo”. They have the BEST freakin’ mayo on the planet… I know it’s gross, but I can’t help myself. If the sight of someone eating a sandwich with mayo dripping out one end (and then that person licking it off and going “mmmmmmmmmmm”) grosses you out – you might not want to take me to lunch at Subway…

9. Singing in the car

Out of my MANY talents, I would have to say my ability to take a perfectly good song and butcher the hell out of it in my car is probably my most proficient. I have been perfecting this art for over a decade and I really think if there was a competition for this, I would win, hands down. I sing off key, too loudly, and usually don’t REALLY know all the words… not the right words, anyways…

10. Smoking

I love to smoke. I have smoked for 16 years (with the exception of pregnancies and/or breastfeeding times) and I have no intention of quitting. I do not smoke in the house, or around my children. Back when there was “smoking sections” in restaurants, I never sat in them if I had my children with me. I love to smoke when I drive, when I have a drink, or while I am waiting for my food and/or after eating. Dining alone on my lunch hours, I usually pick somewhere that still allows smoking, which usually turns out to be a Bar and Grill. Unfortunately, since they enacted the no smoking city ordinance, there are several places I used to frequent on lunch hours that I no longer go to because you can’t smoke there. I will go there for dinner, but on my lunch I want to smoke, since I can’t smoke at my desk at work… they tend to frown on that…

11. Swearing

Holy shit, I can’t help my fucking swearing. I make a VERY strong effort to not swear around my kids, but it doesn’t always work. I NEVER swear AT them, but I have done it around them which is apparent by my oldest daughter reminding me that I “Shouldn’t say that word, it’s a bad word, mommy” at least once a day. Then I’m like “Oh, shit honey, I’m sorry”. Actually she is a big help – otherwise Mia’s already crazy-ass behavior would become “social services worthy” if she started popping off with “Oh shit! Dammit!!” when she spills her juice, or “Kiss my ass, ma!” when I tell her to pick up her toys…

12. Sal’s

Sal’s is a Japanese steakhouse that cooks their food hibachi style, right at the table. The give you a ton of food, the food is fantastic, the cooks are hilarious, and they have a HUGE drink called a Volcano. It is “supposed” to be enough for two people, and comes with a fire in the middle of it. WOO HOO! They are also the only place in town that I have found plum wine, which is soooooo good – the only way to make it better would be if they would give you your wine in a “big girl” glass instead of the little baby one that it comes in…

13. Sisters

I am so very glad that I have two girls, because they each have a sister now. My sister is one of the most important people in my life and I would be lost (and probably pretty bored) without her! I think it is just so cute when Josie is getting ready to leave for school and her sister comes barreling down the stairs to give her a kiss and hug good-bye; Or at night, when they go to bed, and they INSIST on sleeping in the same bed, snuggling down into the covers giggling and laughing together. I hope they grow up to be as close as my sister and I are. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

14. Sleeping in the nude

Wearing clothes to bed bothers me. I get too hot and sweaty, and my pants always get twisted around my waist or around my legs. My underwear crawls up my butt and my shirt gets jammed into my armpits. Being naked just eliminates all the irritants and allows me to actually STAY asleep through the night. And makes number one and two easier to accomplish on my tight schedule...

15. Sexy lingerie

I don’t know what it is about lingerie, but I actually wear it for MYSELF more often than for someone else. Maybe it’s because regardless of my weight, clothes or my haircut, if I wear a sexy pair of panties and matching bra, I FEEL sexy for the whole day…

16. Soda

I’m a soda drinker. I love soda, Mountain Dew in particular. I used to drink 9-10 cans of Dew a day, from the moment I woke up until right before bedtime. Since I went on my diet, my doctor told me I was no longer allowed to drink regular soda, and I almost cried. I have adapted to this new requirement as best I can, but every time I go to the vending machine for a Diet Dr. Pepper, I can’t help but stare at the Mt. Dew button, while my mind tries to convince my button pushing finger that “just one would be ok”. I am proud (and depressed) to say that I have been able to talk myself out of it each time, and continue to push the DDP one… /sob

17. Silence

I LIKE IT QUIET. You will probably NEVER hear me say “I just need some background noise”. Fuck background noise. If there is ever a time where I am at home with no children and no man, I can guarantee that the TV will be off, the radio will be off, and I will be quieting enjoying a good book, a hot bath or a much needed nap. Also, I rarely drive with the radio on, unless someone else is in the car with me. I am fine with driving in silence…

Pat has a horrible habit of turning on EVERYTHING in the house that makes noise, in every room. Go into the kitchen – radio is blaring. Go to the bathroom – radio is going in there too. Living room – TV on, and turned up WAY to loud. Bedroom – TV and/or radio is a must, and if he magically goes to bed before me I always have to brace myself for the inevitable 3 seconds after I flip the TV off - “What are you doing??? I was listening to that!!”

18. Seeley Booth

Oooooo, Seeley Booth. For those of you who do NOT know who this is, this is the FBI agent on the TV show "Bones". He is shhhhh-moking hot, super sexy and a good guy to boot! He is the classic Knight in Shining Armor that your mommy told you stories about when you were little. I think the most attractive thing about him is the fact that despite all the wonderful, noble things he does, he RARELY takes credit for, or brags on his self about. He is a Genuine Nice Guy, and a caring and loving father… and, yes I KNOW he is a fictional character. He would have to be, because no man on the planet is ACTUALLY like this… dammit…

19. Suede

Oh, luxurious suede – I have suede coats, suede boots, suede gloves… I love the look, the feel, the smell of suede. It just hugs you and caresses your skin, and makes you feel a little more important than you know you actually are…

20. Smiles
I love smiles. Especially baby smiles. Those just warm me right down to my toes!! Everyone needs to feel special, appreciated, and noticed. A smile accomplishes ALL of that! If anyone on here tries to tell me that a baby smiling at you doesn't make you grin, you are full of shit.
One of the coolest thing about a smile is when you give one away, you almost ALWAYS get one back. Try in line at the grocery store tonight! I bet you a dollar it will work! (Be sure it is a genuine one though... doesn't usually work with those fake, shit eating smiles...)
Well, there you go! My "S"s!
Now, to be honest, I could keep going... there is all kinds of shit that I could put on here, but frankly I'm running out of time, and my head is starting to hurt a little... :)
If you would like to play along, just let me know, and I will give YOU a letter too!!! Come on, you know you want to!!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Don't F%@! With a Winner

Oh, yes, my good friends... I'm a winner. I have - AGAIN - been given the prestigious honor of being selected as a half assed good blogger!! WOO! If my mother could see me now, she would be soooo proud! lol

I have been given 2 (COUNT 'EM - T W O!) more awards!!! Let's check them out, shall we??

So, my wonderful sister and lifelong friend, Needsleepy, has nominated me for the Sisterhood Award!!!!! This award is given to those blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude. Thanks sweetie!!! I love it!! It is sooooooo very purty!!!!!

(Although.... I regretfully suspect I won this by default, because of the name "Sisterhood Award"... I just don't know if many would agree that I possess or project onto this blog "Great Attitude OR Gratitude"...but hell, I'll take it! I LOOOOOVE winning shit!!!)

This is very sweet, Shell. Thank you very much. :) Love you!!!

Now, I do have to lay down "The Rules"... they are:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post. (Done! - Damn I'm an overacheiver...)
2. Nominate 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude(If you don't have 10, its ok.) (I will not have 10, but I know it will be ok...)
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post. (See below, por favor)
4. Let them know they have received this award by commenting on their blog. (I will definitely do this!! If I remember...)
5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award. (I did THIS already too!!! See above...)

Ok, my nominations goooo toooooo:

Whiney Momma - She is a very dedicated blogger! She is my "Always has a new post to read" gal and I love ya for it :)
Brittany (The Greer 5) - Her most recent post inspired the hell outta me lol :)
J.J. in L.A. (The World According to JJ in LA) - Now, this woman could very well be the most deserving of this award. Her entire outlook on life is amazing, and I can only hope that one day I could learn to adopt her attitude...she truly has a great one, and that is what this award is really about.
Mommy Chrissie (Mommies Keeping it Real) - Such a very cool lady. As hard as most moms think they have it, she has a little extra obstacle to overcome, but makes it look effortless. :)
And how can you pass up a little lady that loves playing with her son AND can never say no to a little "Bones".... Kendrasue!! (Life in the Slow Lane)

Anyways, there you have it! My 5 (we will just go ahead and call it 10, just for argument's sake), be sure to check them out whenever you have a few extra minutes! Good reads, all of them! :)

Ok, Second we have the - well, I'm not really sure WHAT the name of it is, but it's fucking fabulous, regardless...

So, now I have to share 10 facts about myself, and provide a meaningful quotation. Finally, I have to list 5 people who I believe deserve this award.

So, 10 facts about me... where to begin? I have told SO MANY facts about myself in the past few months, I'm trying to figure out if there are any FACTS LEFT TO TELL?!!!! LOL

1. My favorite things to shop for are shoes and purses... why, you ask? Because I've NEVER said or HEARD anyone say "Does this purse/shoe make my ass look big?" You know WHY I've never heard it? Because purses and shoes don't MAKE your ass look big... That's why I like to shop for them :)

2. I love to talk on the phone. All the time. To anyone. About anything. Or about nothing. Give me a call, we'll chat. :)

3. When I was a teenager I used to eat Doritos dipped in cottage cheese, and I LOVED it. Still Do.

4. I type much faster on an ergonomically correct keyboard. But I am too cheap to buy one for my computer at home, so I just chicken peck at the crappy one I have at home, cussing at it and wishing I was at my desk at work with my perfect EC keyboard... I have even thought about stealing it from work, but I worry that they wouldn't buy me a new one, then I would REALLY be screwed...

5. I do not know how to burn a DVD, and I am afraid I will never learn, because I will never ask to be taught because I feel stupid for not knowing.

6. I was a huge geek/nerd/reject in school. I have really grown up, found myself, and have really become a people person (I think, anyways...). I even think I'm kind of cool now... but everytime I run into an old classmate, I feel like a reject again...

7. I was 9 lbs 1 oz at birth. BOOOOOOOOOORN fat and just grew bigger. lol

8. I always wanted to be a rockstar. I can't sing for shit, and I know it, but I used to have dreams in grade school about singing concerts on the playground. The closest I ever got was singing Karaoke shit-faced drunk in a local bar... and doing it badly, I might add... I think I might actually have a little resentment toward my ex about the rockstar thing, because he actually had talent to do it, but lacked the drive... seemed like such a waste of talent to me.

9. I think feet are the ugliest part of the body - especially MINE. If I had the means to do it, I would try and have plastic surgery on my feet to make them more attractive... first thing - I would have my big toes "thinned".... they are freakshow fat. I have never understood feet fetishes and I never will.

10. I don't really like my new haircut... I wish I had not gotten layers. You would think after this many years, I would have learned by now... dammit...

And my meaningful quote is:

"If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten." - Bunker Hunt

For some reason, this quote really hits home with me. I actually have it as my screensaver at work, so I never forget - sometimes, things HAVE to change...

And for 5 people that deserve this blog? Well shit, I think we all deserve it. I know it sounds like a cop-out and I just don't want to list 5 people in particular, but that's not really true. I could list 5 people that really do deserve it, but then there would be a whole slew of bloggers who deserve it too, but didn't get "picked". And I think that is kinda shitty.

We all pour our souls into the vast emptiness of the internet on a daily basis. Sometimes just to vent, sometimes to celebrate, sometimes to get help. Sometimes we even write things that we would NEVER say out loud to a real person, because deep down we are all afraid of judgement.

We put our selves out there for the world to see, and just HOPE that there might be someone else out there that feels the same way, someone that you can relate to...

I personally think that anyone who takes time to write a blog (a real blog, mind you, not a web page full of pictures of boobs and the margins full of dick and fart jokes...) deserves to be recognized.

So I present this award to YOU. Every one of my readers, public and anonymous. (All THREE of you!!! LOL)

Everyone should feel the excitement of getting noticed, even if it is something as "insignificant" as a blog award. It's not the Noble Peace Prize or even first place in a wet T-Shirt contest, but damn it, I have to admit, it sure felt good to log in here and see that someone else had given me an award! It was fantastic, and I want everyone to feel that way too. :)


Needsleepy, Momma Young, Mommy Chrissie, Merynne, Ambersmilez, Christine, Upkaran Gupta, Holly, Vodka Mom, Tom G, avm0525, Lisa, Chichiluv2, Twisted Lisa, Chasing Cars, WalkinginaDream, Sissi, No Sex in the City, and Kendrasue - Congratulations! You are ALL big winners... and you don't fuck with a winner, right??? :)

Please take it and post it, list your facts, and your quote and pass it on to another blogger who you feel would like being recognized.

(Whoops, sorry about my touchy feely rant... my soul was showing... I'll try not to let it happen again... :)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Clapping for Poop

I had decided that I was going to start working on potty training for Mia over the past month or so and it was not going well.

I read info on the internet, in books, etc, trying to decide the best way to go about it. I felt bad because she is two and still in diapers... and I thought back to Josie when she was that age. Josie was always very advanced at most things (walking, talking, colors, numbers, letters, all that) and I remember her being in pullups at two... BUT she wasn't actully potty trained until she was three.

I remember speaking to Josie's daycare provider when she was three, asking for their help in potty training her while she was there. I remember being embarassed that she was 3 and not potty trained yet.

Then they told me that three is actually about the right age for it...any time before that, you are really just training the parents to take the kid to the bathroom every 30 minutes to an hour, "in case" they need to go... that is not really THE CHILD deciding they need to go to the bathroom, that's the mommy guessing they MIGHT... At three, they have a better understanding of the process and can be potty trained in a matter of days. I was skeptical, but I decided to try it.

The first day, I sent her to daycare in big girl panties (and a few extra pairs of pants and stuff). She had an accident that day, but only once. The next day, big girl panties again and NO ACCIDENTS! It took less than a week for her to be accident free all day, and only one accident at night before she was accident free at night. (And, fyi, I also found out that she was one of the first ones in her daycare class to really be truly potty trained, so I didn't feel so bad in the end. And I guess girls catch onto the potty training thing faster than boys...)

SO ANYWAYS, remembering that, I decided that for now, I would just work on getting Mia to tell me "as soon as she goes to the bathroom", and then we will work up to the "telling me BEFORE she goes" part...

This has been hard, but I think she is finally getting the idea. She used to go "Number Two" and just keep it to herself. Just sit around and marinate in it until someone noticed that she stunk to high heaven...

Now, she comes and tells me "Mommy I poop"... and I clap!! "Yea for Mia! Thank you for telling me!!! You are such a good girl!!!" :) She grins, SO very proud of herself, and claps for herself too.

(I really think that she will be able to start telling me a little ahead of time within the next couple of months. I will just let her do it on her own time table instead of trying to push her...)

But now, it has become such a habit, that I caught myself clapping for Blake over the weekend, and I even clapped for Josie last night... /sigh... "Good job, kids! Show that poop who's boss!" "That's right, you wipe your butt and flush TOO!! That's my girl!"

I've reached a new low - I clap and cheer for poop. I swear I used to be cool....