Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Welcome to "The Mia Show" - Wear a Cup...

Well, Mia is two now, and it is REALLY starting to show. I know the whole "terrible two's" is bullshit (it's really the 2's, 3's, and 4's), and Mia is really living up to the legend!! In fact, this past week or two, she has really outdid herself...

Some of you may know, and some may not, that Mia is middle child (which by definition, is an attention hog). She is the one on the right, with the chubby cheeks and dimples... cute right?? WRONG. So much of what this child does is NOT FREAKIN' CUTE at all. Sometimes she is just plain MEAN! She got her daddy's cute smile and her mommy's bad attitude! (Why couldn't she have gotten something GOOD from me, like my amazing sense of humor, or my ability to win people over the second I meet them????)

First, she picks on Josie. Constantly. Now, as discussed in a previous blog, Josie is a bit of a pansy. Now, I LOVE LOVE LOVE her, don't get me wrong, but, wow, she is a big puss. I cannot count the number of times I have been in the kitchen (bathroom, bedroom, living room, outside, inside, in the car, etc, etc) and heard Josie SCREAM and start crying something about "Mia did (insert mean thing Mia did here)".... It's usually like, Mia took my toy, or Mia turned off the TV, or Mia changed the channel, or Mia ate my poptart, or Mia licked my face, or Mia is in my spot, or Mia hit me with a remote (flashlight, flyswatter, piece of paper, dolly, shoe, shirt, you name it, I've heard it). Now, I really do my best to keep them civil, but they are siblings and they will fight. About everything.

I am now starting to realize why my mom was such a bitch. (Love you mommy!!!) Her children MADE HER that way!!!!

So, anyways, she picks on Josie. Oh, well, I do my best with time outs, say you're sorry's, give hugs, and so on. I try to teach the be nice crap that was shoved down my throat as a child, and Mia listens about as well as I did...

Let me just give you a few examples of crap Mia has been doing...

Keep in mind this is just in the one hour in the morning as I get ready for work, and the couple hours at home in the evenings for the past 2 weeks...

Ok, here we go....

One night I was feeding my son, and the girls come down to ask for a snack. I look at the clock and it is about 15 minutes until bedtime. So I say no. Josie whines a bit, but sulks off back into the play room to get the best use out of her 15 minutes... Mia doesn't. She looks at me and says "snack." I looked at her and said "no." She stares at me, then goes upstairs. I figure she went back to her spongebob (like each night before bed) and went back to giving Blake his bottle. I then hear this horrible screeching sound upstairs. I set the bottle down, grab the boy and head up. I see Mia has dragged a dining room chair into the kitchen and was getting her own damn snack... Of course when she sees me, its "hi, mommy.... here!" and attempts to make me believe she thought I could use some Cheetos, and she was just going to get some for me. Sweet kid, huh?

Next, one night after Blake's bath (I still give him a bath in the kind of tub you set on top of the counter), Mia thought she would be helpful and empty the tub for me, I guess. She turned one of the latches and the thing fell into two pieces, spilling a few gallons of dirty soapy water ALLL over my bathroom... She calmly and quietly shut the door, and went downstairs as if nothing had happened. What a doll.

Another night, my father and I had stepped out to smoke, and Pat was in with the kids getting them ready for bed. Mia comes running over to the glass door, yelling about wanting to come outside. I told her (through the door) that it was late, cold, and she was in her jammies, so no, she needed to stay inside. Her face just falls, and I turn back around (feeling secretly triumphant) and resume my conversation. A few seconds later, my father bursts into laughter... I turn back around at Mia and she is bending over, showing me her butt, smacking it with one hand, and yelling "Mama BUTT!"... Awww... can't wait until she shows Grandma THAT trick!

She has broken 3 toys, got stuck in a walker/bouncer thing FOURTEEN times, has dumped 2 boxes of cereal on the floor, put 2 rolls of wrapping paper IN the Christmas tree (took me FOREVER to find them), flushed half a roll of toilet paper, jammed 5 DVD's into the VCR player (as well as 2 small toys and a couple Cocoa Puffs - VCR doesn't work anymore...), hidden my keys twice, and spit in my drink once (she walked up to my glass and started to take a drink of my tea. I said "No, Mia, don't drink mommy's drink. You ask First!" So she spit it back in and said sweetly "Drink Peez?"...).

She also made 3 "accidental" phone calls to people who probably need to be deleted out of my phone anyways, poured a cup of water all over the floor in the kitchen (and then CASUALLY places her cup in the sink and goes back to her coloring book like nothing happened... in walks Mommy and falls straight on her ass...), ate a dime size dollop of Hydrocortizone cream (I called poison control, she is fine) and downloaded 2 spyware things onto Pats computer. (That one is kind of his own fault, he lets her play on there, pushing buttons on the keyboard).

I know what you are all saying - "Geez, watch your fucking kid lady!!!!" But let me assure you, I DO!!!! The majority of these things happen either while I am feeding/changing/bathing my son, while I am in the shower, or while I am cooking dinner/doing dishes. Being alone at home with 3 kids in the evenings (Pat works second shift) is a bit of a challenge, and things are bound to get broken, lost, etc. You still have things that HAVE to be done. You cannot just decide to not cook dinner, or not feed the baby. You make the mistake of going down to switch over the laundry and next thing you know, your walls have green marker on them...

Now, I know that most of this is because Mia is an EXTREMELY independent little girl, and she RARELY asks for anyone to help her do what she wants. She is super fucking sneaky, and if she wants something, she just goes right ahead and does it herself. She has the "Don't worry, I can do it myself" attitude that all 2-3 years old get, but she has it is spades. One of the cereal boxes that was dumped on the floor was due to the fact I was in the shower, and she wanted some more cereal... so she went and GOT IT. That's all. Hmmm....

I really have been working on the "tell me what you need and I will HELP YOU do it" thing, but she seriously just doesn't want anyone's help... Can't decide if that is a GOOD thing, because she will never be dependent on others to do or get the things she wants in life, or if it a habit that I should discourage... Oh, decisions, decisions...

That's the crappy part about being a parent. You HAVE to make decisions that will affect your children's outlook on life and the world. The way they interact with others, the way they handle stressful situations, the way they treat the people around them. Everything you do, your kids are watching, and filing it away in a special little place in the back of their minds for reference or use later on in life.

Both of my daughters are independent, and I think that is something I should be proud of. Josie's strength, of course, is in her ability to make anyone like her. I have noticed (and so have her teachers) that she will play with ANYONE. She is friends with just about everyone in class. She will go from playing dolls and "house" with the girls, straight to Superheroes and cops and robbers with the boys. She received the "Most Caring Student" award in her class last week (every grade had a student nominated), and I was SO proud!!!

I was bragging to a co-worker about her. She gave me a big smile - her comment to me was "Well, I'm sure her mother's influence had SOMETHING to do with that". I was speechless... I hadn't even thought of that. I was just so proud of HER actions, I didn't really consider that it might be a learned behavior and that I had ANYTHING to do with it... I hope that is true. I would like to think that my kids see me as a caring person, and that is how you should act towards everyone.

But back to my point (Sorry!! I get distracted), I really hope that Mia gets through this phase without too much damage to herself or the world around her. But I hope she keeps the independence thing - and I hope it is something else that my children MIGHT have picked up from me... :)


  1. One of my brothers sounds a LOT like Mia. Very independent and a 'do it yourself-er'.

    Unfortunately, at 47, he's still breaking toys. This is the 4th time he's screwed up my mom's computer because he "wants to keep it running good". We're password-protecting it next week.

  2. I love your blog..well my 2 little boys are a mess they are very bossy demanding and sometimes I cant wait to give me little 1 year old a well his older brother who is 5 said I cant spank him. But he keep it up and it might happene:)

  3. Wow, you are super mom. Good luck with your middle child! (I am the middle child myself...hmmm) Also, as I continued to read this entry, Im pretty sure the majority of my thoughts were "this is excellent birth control" for me to be reading this stuff. :)
    That is cool about Josie! I am sure it has a lot to do with you and how good of a mother you are to your children. Give yourself a pat on the back. I will say it again - wow, you are super mom.

  4. Sounds like my house EXACTLY! Valerie is so damn independant. She would just about rather die than ask for help or permission. In fact about ninety percent of the list of crazy crap has happened at my house this week too. Right down to the green marker that I am going to clean up tonight. Yes, it really is green dry erase marker....


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