"Who's the Big Winner?"

ANGIE'S THE BIG WINNER!

That's right folks, I got on here yesterday to find that I have not one ONE, but TWO blog awards! WHOO HOO!!! :)

So the first one is from my sister Needsleepy. It is the Pink Lemonade Award! I'm not really sure what this is for, but I'm going to go ahead and say it is for my uncanny ability to take the lemons life tends to hurl at me at 100 mph, add Tequila and make margaritas!!! Um... I mean, Lemonade! :) Hehe, thanks so much, sweetie! My first blog award ever!!!

The second award I have gotten is from Momma Young! Now, to be honest, this one was a huge surprise to me. This is one of my readers who apparently slipped in under my radar. She has posted many comments on my blogs in the past (much love sweetie!) and I kept looking for her blog updates on my dashboard thingy...never finding any! Well, that is because I a freakin' retard and never started following it... (shame on me, /slaps own hand). Well, I have since remedied the situation, and I am now an avid follower! She is such a sweetheart (and I have no idea WHY she would like MY blog, as I am NOT a sweetheart, lol) and her blog is a lot of fun to read (so go check it out!!)

Anyways, she has given me the "Honest Scrap" award. I am guessing that this is a euphemism for "Real Shit" when you apply it to my blog... LOL :) Anyways, this one has a little catch though... I have to tell 10 honest things about me. And I am supposed to "dig deep" to come up with some good ones... so... here we go! Now, I will warn you, I sat for a long time thinking about the whole "dig deep - honest things about you" thing and I took it seriously. A lot of these are things that not many people really know about me. And probably for good reason... in all HONESTY, some of these I probably should have continued to keep to myself! lol

1. I am a little bit afraid of the dark. I am always worried that there is something there, watching me. I have a hard time getting out of bed in the middle of the night, whenever I am home alone... I guess for some reason I feel like whatever is watching me conceals itself more when anyone else is around.

2. OBVIOUSLY, I believe in ghosts. I am convinced that my parents house was (and STILL is) haunted when I grew up there. Their house is just fucking creepy and I can no longer stay there alone. If they ever go out of town and need a housesitter, I think I will definitely have to pass. I did it once to take care of the dogs they had at the time, and I don't think I slept more than 2 or 3 hours the 2 days I was there. All the reasons that their house scares the shit out of me will have to be their own post sometime - there is just too much to write here...

3. I'm not that sure I'm a very good mommy. Oh, I know, poor Angie, right? But anyone who knows me in Real Life knows that this is something I stress about. A lot. I feel tremedous pressure to make my children's life perfect, probably due to all the guilt I feel for fucking up their home life. I feel guilty for Josie because I divorced her dad and she only gets to see him for 2 1/2 days, every other week. I feel guilt for Mia and Blake because I am not married to their father. I know that EVENTUALLY they will learn how to do math, and realize that they were born out of wedlock (that is, IF we ever actually get married!!) and think that their mommy is a big whore. This is probably a whole other blog post too, but I will probably never write it, because it depresses me.

4. I used to be an exotic dancer. I know my mom reads this, but I also know that she is not stupid. I told my family that I was a waitress at a "Gentlemen's Club" for about 3-4 years. I was NOT a waitress. I'm sure my family knew, but they were nice enough to pretend to believe my lie. NOTE TO MOM: If you really didn't know, then THIS NEVER HAPPENED. I really was a waitress, I swear!

5. I do not have a college education. In fact, I have a G.E.D. ("Good Enough Diploma). This is something that at 16 I didn't give one shit about, but as an adult, I am extremely embarrassed. In fact, it is also a little sad, because I never went to prom, I never went to graduation, and I will not be invited to my class reunions. When people ask me what year I graduated, I usually tell them 1996. They then do a little math on my age and usually assume I must have skipped a couple of grades in order to graduate early... I rarely correct people who make this assumption...

6. I HATE porta-pottys. HATE HATE HATE them. I think they are the grossest fucking thing ever, and if I had lived in the time of outhouses, I would have shit in the bushes. If I go to a fair or event that lasts all day and the only place to pee is a porta potty, I try very hard to not eat or drink anything. The only exception to this is the Renaissance Fair, and that is because I work the bar, so I am required to have a FEW beers! :) But I don't get tanked because the more you drink, the more you have to use the "closet o' poo".

7. I LOVE to do housework - BUT ONLY IF THERE IS NO ONE ELSE HOME! If people are there, they just get in my way, mess up what I just cleaned or distract me from my cleaning spree. Then I just get pissed and decide that someone else can clean shit up for a change...so then NOTHING gets done... :) If I could convince Pat to leave with all the kids once a week (like maybe a Sunday afternoon, or something), for a few hours, my house would be spotless when he got back. I think he refuses because if he is not at home, then he can't play WoW, and that REALLY takes priority... :)

8. I am a pagan. Before you all go running for the hills, know that a pagan is NOT a heathen or a devil worshipper! Don't believe all the crap you see on TV! A pagan is simply someone who does not adhere to any major, organized or recognized religion. I believe there is good and evil in the world. I also believe in the need for balance in all aspects of your life. I believe in karma, and I believe in the preciousness of nature and in the natural world around us. I also believe in the power that each person holds within themselves, which can make all things possible. The power of the mind is vastly underestimated, and I believe that anything is possible when you seriously apply your mind.

9. I desperately want to be liked by everyone, even the people that I don't like. I always spout the "Eh, I don't give a shit what anyone thinks!" line, but in all HONESTY (that is what this is about, right???) I really DO give a shit. I don't like to throw parties or call old friends, because I'm very afraid that people won't show up or won't answer their phone - because they don't like me... And I always go out of my way to be extra nice to all the people at work (even the assholes I hate and all the people who make my life hell), because I want to be the "gal everyone likes". I was never popular in school (in fact I was the opposite) and I always said that I hated the popular girls... which was true. But I hated them because so many people liked them, they always had someone to talk to or somewhere to go, and I didn't have that. I was jealous, and I admit it. :(

10. I lie to my kids. Yes, I know we all do, big shocker right? I, of course, tell my kids of Santa and the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and stuff like that. But I also take it a step further... I told Josie this year if she didn't stop acting up, then I was gonna call Santa and have him skip our house this year. She of course FLIPPED OUT and was immediately a little angel for the remainder of the night. I tell her that chicken fried steaks are just really big chicken nuggets so she will eat them (she doesn't eat ANY meat besides breaded chicken and SOMETIMES fish...). I told her cottage cheese was ice cream when she was 3 and now it is one of her favorite snacks. She knows it is not ice cream now, and even calls it the right name, so I'm ok with that one... :) One time I made ham and Mia wouldn't eat it. I told her it was turkey and she gobbled it down so fast, saying "Mmmmmm yummy turkey!" the whole time... I have also told Mia that I was going to work one evening when I was going to a movie with my sister. Mia was getting very upset that I was getting ready to leave, and she understands "work" so I used it so she wouldn't be upset anymore. It worked and she gave me a hug and a kiss bye bye. :)

OK! So that is my ten. I'm sorry if they were too long, or too stupid, or too boring.

I am going to pass this wonderful award on to a few of my fellow bloggers as well!

Needsleepy at http://luckysmiles.blogspot.com/

Mommy Chrissie at http://realmommyissues.blogspot.com/

Christine at http://seetiggerbounce.blogspot.com/

J.J. in L.A. at http://jjinla.blogspot.com/

Looking forward to seeing what you all write about!!